Who taught the guards to speak like Ryan Air stewards

“Good Morning, my name is Barry, and I’ll be constantly invading your privacy with a series of loudspeaker announcements.”

Today’s question is;

Who decided that rail guards have to speak like air stewards?

Is there a european diktat that anyone in the travel industry Has to speak [pause] in a singsong accent

Do they train them to speak like that?

Or is a trendy affectation that’s caught on amongst the guards?

Have you noticed that the drivers don’t do this?

In fact, they maintain a dignified silence throughout the journey, even when you’d love them to explain why you’ve been stuck in a tunnel for half an hour.

That’s the problem with most Guards. They never tell you what you need to know.

As a breed, they’re like those people you meet at parties, who only like the sound of their own voice. When they’re not talking, they’re not listening to you. They’re just thinking what they’re going to say next.