"Hello. I was in this bookshop the other day and this incredibly aggressive woman was serving.
I think she'd decided I was a shoplifter. She even followed me into the toilets. She waited until I was settled in, then started banging on the cubicle door, shouting "Are you going to buy that book, 'sir'. "
That's right, she said 'sir' incredibly sarcastically. This woman has never known the phrase - the customer is always right.
spoken through SpinVox
"Good evening. I had to wait ages for Cassandra and Champagne - or whatever their stupid names were- to finish off their conversation about Kevin, before I got what passes for service in Gannons gym, in suburbiton today. have you noticed how useless they are in most gyms. They must pay peanuts, because they seem to attract a lot of monkeys and bottom feeders."
spoken through SpinVox
"I heard a bloke in a restaurant saying Gordon Brown is out of touch. That's nonsense. Gordon Brown says he meets lot of ordinary people, listens to their concerns and acts of them. Iknow that's true too. When I met him I was lost for words, so I blurted out something stupid like 'Why don't you take five billion pounds out of our pensin funds and spend it on press releases, private education for your kids, and diversity courses. And he subsequently did. "
spoken through SpinVox
"Hello I am Emilia Anderson and those trains are awesomely terrible.
How do the train companies make a profit when they are so shit.
Will you stop swearing? You're not supposed to use a mobile phone in this carriage.
Mind your own business mate, I'm dictating a complaint message about this train being late"
spoken through SpinVox
"Hello this is Cathy.
I'm at Bristol Parkside, and there's something on the tracks that looks suspiciously like poo poo and toilet paper. Please tell me they don't flush the toilets directly onto the tracks, not in this day and age.
Goodbye"
spoken through SpinVox
"Why do South West Trains guards spend so much time on the intercom. And why do they speak like they're piloting Concorde. 'Well be cruising at six feet, at speeds up to ten miles an hour. if you wish to visit the buffet, you can buy over priced drinks from a surly jobsworth'. You're not professionals matey, you're a glorified ticket collector. Shut up and leave us in peace! "
spoken through SpinVox
