Puccinis on train stations

Why do you think people come into a cafe on a train station platform?

er, do you think maybe they're waiting for a train?

So why don't you hurry and serve us. We want coffee. No one gives a toss about your upcoming court case. Talk about it when the train's gone.

To the Guard at Clapham Junction platform 9

No matter how many times you blow on that shitty whistle, we're not going to get on the train any quicker.
You know why?
The train is half the size, with twice as many people.

If you don't stop blowing that stupid whistle, someone's going to stick it up your arse.